002: Dunno is an acceptable answer
Can you be OK with the unknown?
Goal setting is particularly frustrating for me.
Why?
The question of why is inevitably asked.
Why is this thing important to you?
You gotta know why you’re going after something to give yourself a “reason to do it.
In “Do the Work,” p. 68-69 (Hardback) and “The Daily Pressfield” p. 509 (Hardback), Steve Pressfield put it like this:
“Why do you want it?”
1. For the babes (or the dudes)
2. The money
3. For fame
4. Because I deserve it
5. For power
6. To prove my old man (or ex-spouse, mother, teacher, coach)
wrong.
7. To serve my vision of how life/mankind ought to be
8. For fun or beauty
9. Because I have no choice
If you checked 8 or 9, you get to stay on the island.
I’ve been trying to figure out my why for decades.
I can honestly say, I don’t know my why. I’m miserable if I don’t? Nothing else fascinates and delights me?
Despite failing English 10 twice and English 12, and having to take both in summer school after graduation, writing is the only thing I actually know how to do?
Because I have to, alright?
Fundamentally, I’m really OK with the unknown and that which is unknowable.
I don’t specifically know how the sewer system works, but that doesn’t prevent me from using it. I’ve seen all the parts. I even know people who operate treatment plants ( BTW, yes, even they say they have a 💩 job). What do I know about it, really, beyond the flush?
The point is, I don’t have to know everything about something to participate. Even for something as intimate and important as goals.
I would argue that the most important things in life are both unknown and unknowable. It’s living in the mystery that gives us something to do.
All this is not to say, don’t have goals and don’t pursue stuff. No, that’s silly.
Our purpose in life is to do stuff. That’s all. Do good. Some stuff will work out. Some won’t. Others still will be meh.
All of it is OK
I’ve been a professional writer for… let’s see, last year was my 30th year.
I’m still enthralled by the act, yet I still feel like I know nothing about it.
I’m still fascinated by other people’s ideas on how to craft stories of all types. I have all sorts of books on writing, some are close to 100 years old … back when writing truly was wrought!
I’ve been studying The Story Grid for the past six or seven years. It’s the most mind-blowing story structure I’ve ever come across.
When I finally followed my passion and started writing plays, I found I had an ear for dialogue. That changed my technical writing because it allowed me to be more conversational.
When I became a filmmaker and learned how to work a camera and edit digital video, my writing changed because I finally realized that what all the writing gurus had been saying about “you create the story you want and don’t worry about budget” was both a total lie and the longest, most difficult way to create a PDF file that hopefully wouldn’t get lost if a hard drive seized up!
Yes, that is the modern equivalent of “scripts piling up in a drawer.”
The point of all this is, I think, if you can actually come up with a reason why you do something, good on ya. Go with God, and may the road rise to meet you.
But if you can’t, and what you’re doing is this undefinable compulsion that causes no harm to you or others, you’re going to be alright. Figure out what you want to do and do it. The road will rise to meet you as well.
The why is unimportant.
What’s important is doing it.